<p>Welcome to Geek A&E, an emergency department filled with movies and TV shows that have been viscously punched in the face by mass critical opinion. Pushing the medical analogy too far our intrepid hosts Alec Lambert and Ellen Waddell. Neither are medical trained, but they have both consumed an unhealthy amount of alternative pop culture.</p>
<p></p>

We treat movies and TV shows that have been viscously punched in the face by mass critical opinion

Geek A&E

itfinished

Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why 

Oh you know, the one with the sparkly pretty vampire

Twilight

Taking a break from pain Ellen and Alec went to see It and you lucky people get their opinions, along with chat about comfort foods, the Stephen Kingiverse, sewer maintenance and our teenage fears.

Clowns are fun

Ellen's away this week being interesting at the Edinburgh Fringe, so Alec got some help from Lovely Boy Nile from the podcast It Gets Weird. For sweet, sweet SEO reasons they watched the Ben Affleck Daredevil, talk about Kingsman for a bit and try to make up their own phrase based superheros.

Before Daredevil was cool, he was leather-bound and stumbling his way through terrible dialogue

Daredevil (2003) feat. Nile from It Gets Weird

Will Tom Cruise be able to revive the Cocktail of action, adventure and comedy that was The Mummy? It seems like a Risky Business, some would say it would be a Mission Impossible. Will The Mummy reboot/remake/re-imagining be another classic or will we have already forgotten it The Day After Tomorrow? Join us as we go in with our Eyes Wide Shut at the filmic car crash that may well take out the entire Dark Universe as Collateral, dooming the burgeoning franchise to Oblivion. Jerry Maguire.

Tom Cruise is chased across Merry Old England by a cougar

The Mummy (2017)

In the 80's-future of 2017, Sam Treadwell loves a sex robot, which he subsequently bones to death on his kitchen floor. He enlists the help of Melanie Griffith, a monotone sideboob-having tracker to help him scour the wasteland for a replacement model. 30 people die for this.

 We get distracted and talk about whether or not Jesus invented falafel, how close this film predicted our current world and pick our top 3 sexiest robots.

In the future of 2017, one man fucks a sex robot to death and travels a dystopian wasteland to find another.

Cherry 2000 (1987)

Gal Gadot and Jon Hamm are just the worst spies in this comedy (?) about a wife realising her husband is 4 magnitudes below her league while chasing spies in the world's most boring cul-de-sac. The team get distracted from this slog of a film by HR work experience, patriarchs and shaved perineums. 

Even Wonder Woman and Don Draper can't polish this turd

Keeping Up With The Joneses

Someone really should have Defended our eyes from this series, Danny Rand went to Kung Fu heaven and came back boring but with a glowy fist. Alec and Ellen are joined by Adam (from Wales) as they chop and kick their way through the worst bits, the good(?) bits and how the series could have been better. It involves adding a dog.

Everyone else has said it's bad, now hear us say it too! With special guest Adam!

Marvel's Iron Fist

It's muttonchops at dawn as Will.I.Am battles his conscience and mysterious military forces to help an old friend get revenge for the death of his wife and the hands of his psychotic brother. Join us as we discuss this along with people living in walls, ageing Harry Potter and the biological ramifications of healing factors. Also Wolverine is in it a bit.

Australia's Shoutiest Son battles his past with the help of Will.I.Am

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Put on your sunglasses and leather trench coats, it's time to jack in to the least popular Matrix movie. Lovely Tim Goodings from The Talking Movies Pictures Movie Show show Ellen and Alec how rabbit hole goes in a movie that shows the ultimate in dystopian futures is having to watch The Matrix Revolutions again in 2017. 

  

Ellen and Alec take the red pill with Tim Goodings from The Talking Movies Pictures Movies Show

The Matrix Revolutions feat. Tim Goodings

Been a while innit? We're back, and this time around Series 4 of insanely popular BBC drama Sherlock is in our cross hairs. Using our considerable deductive powers, we try and determine what exactly about this series done did a big stink all over our faces. It's cool, the words fly around us and there's sweet camera tricks and everything. Climb aboard as Ellen and Alec make general assumptions about the sexual preferences of people who wear morph suits, have a brief professional disagreement over Whiplash Vs Birdman, punch above their weight at Mark Gatiss' work and list some bald men for a bit. Cheers!

The Only Mystery In this Series Is "What Were They Thinking?" OOOHHH

Sherlock: Series 4

Geek A&E delve into the murky world of computer game adaptations by watching the critically mauled Assassins Creed, aka Michael Fassbender parkours through time (and Spain). Will it be the adaptation that finally breaks the curse of computer games making turds of movies, or will it be the final turd on top of the pile of turds in a toilet that just won’t flush? Your hosts Ellen Waddell and Alec Lambert discuss this, as well as Jeremy Irons polo neck collection, our favourite weird snacks and Alec gets cross about history.

Michael Fassbender Stabs His Way Through History

Assassin's Creed

'Tis the season for introspection and reflection, join Geek A&E for part two of their yearly round-up of their "favourite" and actually favourite films that came out this year. The best year.

NOTE: This episode sounds wack man, sorry, had some of the old technical difficulties!

Geek A&E review the other half of the year

New Year's Special: 2016 in Review Part 2

'Tis the season for introspection and reflection, join Geek A&E for part one of their yearly round-up of their "favourite" and actually favourite films that came out this year. The best year.

Geek A&E review half of the year

New Year's Special: 2016 in Review Part 1

For this very festive edition of Geek A&E, the dynamic duo give themselves a gift of watching Jack Frost, wherein a scenery chewing serial killer gets melted by the science into a killer snowman. Also, Shannon Elizabeth takes her top off. 
 
 Along the way they touch on; Danny Dyer, that really famous Japanese ceramic with the story of lovers on that Alec was completely unaware of until now, famous serial killers and anus ghosts.

Happy Holidays ho ho ho etc.

Not the snow dad one, but the snowman who does murders one!

Jack Frost (1997)

Super special handsome guest Andy Price joins the gang as Owen Wilson wows his way to a paycheck in a real bad film about a real bad dog. We forgot to try and fix it this time, probably because it would be an impossible task.

The only thing deader than the dog, is Owen Wilson's credibility! Oh ho ho ho ho 

Marley and Me

This week Alec and Ellen have been diagnosed with a serious case of Girl Power, as they watch the 90’s Pop Classic Spice World and ponder how many regrettable 90’s cameos is too many regrettable 90s cameo’s. Ellen is creeped out by the concept of grown men being sexually attracted to Baby Spice, Alec lashes out at Australia and both are soothed by the rakish sexual appeal of Richard E Grant. Our medically qualified*hosts also invent new Spice Girls of their very own!
 
*lies, lies for tiny eyes

Spice World (1997), a movie about The Spice Girls for some reason

Spice World: The Movie

2005, a vintage year, re-join Geek A&E as they revisit Marvel before they reached their mighty power. 4 astronauts get caught in a space cloud (while in space) and come back to Earth with fantastical powers. Do you get it? It's bloody Fantastic Four mate! Chris Evans is in it!

Back to the year of the release of Will Smith's 4th album, to try and stitch together 4 astronauts who went to space and came back wrong.

Fantastic Four (2005)

How different can a cat's body be from a human's anyway? Hopefully we have enough dignity on hand to transfuse into Kevin Spacey as he leaks all over our nice clean floor while pretending to be a cat who is drunk and pissing in a handbag.

Kevin Spacey is a cat, we are not vets but we'll do our best to save him anyway

Nine Lives

Can we fix this bloated mess of a movie before it flatlines on the surgeon's table, naked, bleeding and badly edited?! Probably not. 
